Should Be...: Hotline Miami

Courtesy of dreamcaster

We know, right?  We are only a few chapters into this game and it was so awesome we just had to share it.  This game sports a soundtrack that at times sounds like Animal Collective, chillwave, and retro synth a la Kavinsky.

The aesthetic is an acid trip take on 80s with a mean streak of ultraviolence.  Think the movie Drive as interpreted by a mental ward for the criminally insane.

And that's why we already, only 30 minutes into the game, think it would make for an incredible movie.  You are some anonymous schlub in a letterman jacket who can sport a variety of creepy animal masks that give you different abilities.  You single-handedly take on scores of white-suited thugs in a bloodbath that requires speed, reflexes, and timing in much the same way as any number of uber difficult 8-bit games from the NES/Master System era:  One hit and you're dead.  Use a gun instead of a bat or pipe and it warns every bad guy in the area.  Knock a guy out with a punch and he'll get up and kill you with the weapon he dropped.  It's a gratifying game and it just keeps on being its awesomely, unapologetically surreal and bloody self.

Quick note to any producers or screenwriters in our readership: Jump on this shit now!  It won't cost much money to film, and it is guaranteed a cult following if you stay true to the source material.

P.S. There is a link below if you'd like to buy this bad boy.  We recommend you do so immediately.

GIFs: Hell Comes to Frogtown

GIFs: Death Race 2000

Tonight we look back on a truly bizarre and amazing movie, and our first review: Death Race 2000!

Manly as fuck...

All intros should look like this...

Bye Bye, baby...Hello seventy points...

NOW don't you want to see it?

Not Quite There: A Primer

Later this week we are launching a new feature on the site called "Not Quite There" ...

The Man Movie Guide team watches a ton of movies in order to cull the best ones for review on the site.  It takes a lot to be a real Man Movie... as our "So what IS a Man Movie?" can attest to.  So that means that a vast percentage of the movies we watch for the express purpose of review on the site are abandoned because they're not up to snuff.

Our guide is a heavily curated one, and a lot of man hours (pun intended) are put into finding just the right movies for a full-on review.  Well we can now think of a few big problems with the way things have worked up until now:

1) You might be curious about a movie and just assume we haven't seen it.  Well guess what? WE HAVE!  Now we can tell you where things go right and things go wrong with the whole thing.

Going right....

2) In the conceivable near future we will be asked to review movies by filmmakers and/or studios.  What if the movie's not good enough?  We're not gonna just be nice and call it a Man Movie because we watched it for the site.  We don't care about anybody's feelings, but we do like free movies and/or money.  So now we have a way of espousing a movie without fully endorsing it.

3) One of the worst things about some of these bad or almost-bad movies is the time taken from the running counter of life that we will never get added back.  So bad enough 'Movie X' isn't worthy of a true Man Movie review, but now we don't even get a posting out of it?  Frankly, we think that's bullshit.  We are lazy people.  Why should we have to sit through 12 hours of film in order to get one review when we can sit through just an hour and a half?!

'Movie X'

And there you have it, our idea for "Not Quite There".  The way it will be laid out is as follows:

- Movie Title (that's the name of the movie)

- Trailer (so you can see said movie in action-ish)

- "Going For It" (a list of the pros for this movie as a Man Movie and anything else notably good in it)

- "The Case Against" (a list of what is holding it back from being a true Man Movie)

- "MMG Says..." (a recap of the movie and any relevant information)

As always, we are mad scientists with the site and even our own posts.  If you have any feedback, we would love to hear it.

Vaya con dios!

Should Be...: Zombies Ate My Neighbors

There is a classic 16-bit game (Genesis, SNES) just itching...not just for a sequel... but also for a movie to be made of it.  The game is absolutely worth hunting down (downloadable on the Wii).  A movie would be pretty awesome; in the vein of Monster Squad and The Goonies, with a bit of Home Alone thrown in.

Picture reposted from VGJunk

GIF: Black Caesar

One badass GIF from Black Caesar's boss montage, and then on to more movies, more reviews, and a couple new features:

Animated GIF: Black Caesar

You jive, turkey!