MMG's Guide to Cheap Halloween Costumes

Hello there, slackers!  Another October has come and nearly gone, and you still don't have your Halloween costume.  Well fret not!  We are here to turn your closet into a costume that will get you high-fives all night (maybe even down there).

Of course, we are assuming that if you're reading this website, you don't have just a nice suit and black tie... which would give you all sorts of options: Jules and Vince from Pulp Fiction, any of the Reservoir Dogs, a Blues Brother, and so forth.

Now for your sartorial pleasure, our suggestions:

The Warriors - one of the Orphans

What you need: A grubby green t-shirt, blue jeans

Bonus if you get: A wonky eye

Last Action Hero - Jack Slater

What you need: A red t-shirt, blue jeans, big belt buckle, brown jacket, cowboy boots

Bonus if you get: Steroids, Austin O'Brien (trust us, he's not doing anything he can't cancel for your Halloween party)

They Live - Nada

What you need: A flannel shirt, blue jeans, sunglasses, a mullet (or a mullet wig if you lack dignity)

Bonus if you get: To uncover an actual conspiracy

Happy Gilmore - Happy Gilmore

What you need: A red t-shirt, a flannel shirt, a golf club or hockey stick

Bonus if you get: Umm... an alligator would be pretty cool! Right, guys?

The Big Lebowski - Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski

What you need: A grey t-shirt, a grey hoodie, board shorts, flip flops, a white russian (or you could go the more played-out bathrobe route)

Bonus if you get: If you can pull off the hair and beard for this costume, you get your bonus when, after Halloween, you shave and get a job, sir!

And remember fellas, if you're feeling really lazy, you can just go with a white tank top.  You can claim all sorts of characters that way!

The Big Lebowski

     What do you get when you craft a noir around a slacker ex-hippie, porn, a gang of German nihilists, bowling, and a Busby Berkeley-esque musical number? Try a pantheon Man Movie that belongs on the Mt. Rushmore of Man Movies, if there were such a thing (and you know there really ought to be).

     Jeff Bridges is powerfully believable as Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski; a burnout of epic proportions who spends his days listening to classic rock, smoking weed, drinking white Russians, and bowling. He becomes ensnared in a world of intrigue, crime, and emotionless sex due to a case of mistaken identity (he happens to share the same name as a handicapped altruist) and a befouled rug. His constant fuck-ups, and they are constant, lead him further down the rabbit hole as he decides to do some sleuthing along with his bowling buddy and semi-crazed Vietnam vet, Walter, as played by a born-for-this-role John Goodman.

     The plot gets convoluted very quickly, and involves twists and turns as only the Coen Brothers can bring on. The ensemble cast is highlighted by Sam Elliott (you might recognize that mustache and voice from any number of westerns) as an omniscient cowboy, Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers as one of the aforementioned nihilists, Julianne Moore as a painter with unusual (and nude) methods, and John Turturro as a comically over-the-top pedophile.

     Not to get too religious or anything, but if God were asked to make a movie, it might well be this one. The best part of that statement is that this might be underselling the movie a bit.

The Big Lebowski Trailer